Let's get one thing straight: I didn't see Cats & Dogs, the original. That said, I am pretty comfortable in declaring that Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore is one of the worst sequels of all time.
Who knows? Maybe not seeing the original is leaving some gaping hole that would make this movie all come together. Apparently, other reviewers didn't think so, which is why this movie is currently tracking 16 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.
However, Cats & Dogs really isn't targeting the age of the average movie reviewer. It's for the wee ones who love seeing puppies and kitties act like humans and use their puppy and kitty lips to crack wise and plot world domination. Sounds more like a Stephen King movie, right? Sorry, but watching non-animated animals talk is creepier than Freddy Krueger, Jason, and that Saw guy -- all rolled into one.
If that doesn't sound scary enough, we have the plot. Yes, this movie actually has one. Apparently, Kitty Galore (voiced by Bette Midler -- the real one!) is so scarred by losing her fur and her family, she seeks revenge on the entire world. First, she has to drive the canine population completely insane. [She probably could have just had the dogs sit through a viewing of Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore.] Then, once the four-legged friends turn on their respective masters, she will somehow take over. It didn't seem like a completely fleshed out plan, but neither did the movie.
Still, on that premise alone, the filmmakers managed to rope in an unbelievable roster of vocal talent, including James Marsden, Nick Nolte, Christina Applegate, Neil Patrick Harris, Sean Hayes, Wallace Shawn, and Roger Moore. Even worse is that Jack McBrayer (30 Rock) and Chris O'Donnell have to actually show their real faces.
So yes, the movie is pretty much crap. The big disappointment though is the 3D. Analysts have been crowing that because this movie bombed in its first week, it's yet another sign that 3D is on the decline. Well, the movie stinks and the 3D stinks. It doesn't take a Kitty Galore to figure out that math.
As far as those effects go, the movie does have slight depth in a few spots, but overall, it's extremely disappointing. There are plenty of parts in the movie that are squandered, including a dim chase scene and an unbelievably flat kitty litter explosion.
Chasing a ball of yarn might be better than sitting through Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore. This kitty does have claws, but very little else.
Editor's Note: Although it may be fleeting, it should be noted that this film includes the Looney Tunes 3D short, "Coyote Falls," right before the main attraction. As we previously reported, this is a new adventure featuring Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner. While Warner Bros. does manage to pull off a few fun 3D "pop-out" gags, they missed the boat on a lot of effects. After all, the action does revolve around an Acme Bungee Cord. Check out the clip below.
[Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures.]